"People always think that the most painful thing is losing the one you love in your life. The truth is, the most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, forgetting that you are special too."
Ernest Hemingway said this. And in the last past two years of my life, nothing has ever described me more, than this quote.
I wrote this song after realizing that... I had been loving someone in the wrong way. I used to think that when you love, you can't be wrong, for love is always good, and right. But it's not. Love can be a powerful mean of self-destruction when you start give everything you have to the one you love, and stop consider your own self as the most important thing you have.
You feel like you're never good enough for them. And doesn't matter how hard you try, in your eyes you never reach it. It's an ever losing battle... I couldn't even see this. I wasn't even able to open my eyes and see the way I was worshiping, loving, and treating someone else the way I should have treated myself first. I couldn't see what I've been done to myself... This song is about realizing all this, and go back to who we are.
I never wrote a song that's more mine than this one.
lyrics
i've always known i'm not the Best that you should hAve
but i love you so, for you i Can be that
so here i am, i'm trying
to be all that you deserve
you seem to want everything that i haven't got
the more i try, the more i give, the less it works
and i didn't mind, but i forgot who i was before
i wanna go bacK to myself
before being anything else
i'm not what you want me to be
i'll never be perfect, sorry
now i'm done trying
to change myself, because
i miss the way i used to be
it was enough and now i see
that i don't wanna be anyone else
buT who i am
i'm tired, i've been at war with myself way too much
just because i thought that i wasn't good enough
i miss how i used to shine
so bright, so long ago
ain't no One else i'd reather be
instead of being just me
i'm not what you want me to be
i'll never be perfect, sorry
now i'm done trying
to change myself, because
i miss the way i used to be
it was enough and now i see
that i don't wanna be anyone else
but who I am
every year i spent hoping
waiting for you to find me
wishing that if i was good enough
you'd come
and now i'm here, do you see me?
all you want is all that i can't be
it huRts so much to let you go
but now i finally know
i just wanna be myself again
just wanna be who i am
i'm not what you want me to be
i'll never be perfect, sorry
now i'm done trying
to change myself, because
i miss the way i used to be
It was enough and now i see
that i don't wanna be anyone else, no
i just wanna be who i am
who i am, oh
every year i spent hoping
waiting for you to find me
wishing that if i was good enough
you'd come
and now i'm here, do you see me?
all you want is all that i can't be
it hurts So much to let you go
but know i finally know, oh
oh ...
credits
from Back To Iris,
released December 29, 2014
Written and performed by Iris
Hi! I'm Iris. I'm 20, and I'm a songwriter. My guitar is my best friend, and Music is my whole life. My lucky number is 11.
My motto is 'If you just believe'. I believe in fairytales, in dreams, in miracles, in wishes, in Music, and I do believe in Love. I'm just one of the many. I'm fearless. And I'm a dreamer. This is everything you need to know about me.
So nice to meet you! =)...more
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