... I really think that this is one of the most dark, if not the darkest, song I've ever wrote in my life.
I had been through a very very deep, painful and wrecking heartbreak. I wrote this song while I was just in the middle of it, gasping for air. I actually started to write this one month after all that began, and I... I had to stop, in the middle of the writing process, because I just couldn't take it. I wasn't strong enough to keep writing, and finish this song... but I did in the end. I wrote this song to lock all those dark feelings, and start to breathe again.
The funny thing is that throughout the whole time I was writing this, the only thing in my head was a quote, repeating on and on, and it was this one: 'if you could read my mind, you'd be in tears'.
lyrics
please dear god now hear my prayer
as i’m tryIng to fall asleep tonight
ease my pain and let me wake up
from this nightmare i’m Caught up inside
he left me drowning in my doom
every bReath i take makes me choke
have mercy on me, bring me back to life
cause i can’t take thIs anymore
i’m down on my knees, begging you please
don’t take him away from me
cause i die Everytime
he looks away, my heart just breaks
and i try to stay alive
but he is the healing and the pain
Dear god, why, why?
dear god, why him?
i feel my eyes empTy and lifeless
i need some sleep, can’t hold on anymore
i cannot breathe, i’m dying inside
i’m trying but i can’t let Him go
i just wanna scream, i just wanna cry
i’m bleeding to beg you, let him be mine
cause i die everytime
he looks away, my eart just breaks
and i tRy to stay alive
but he is the healing and the pain
and now that all his love has gone killed by life
then hOw am I supposed to survive?
if he will never be mine, then why him?
and i’m falling thinking it shoUld have been me, me, me
i’d rather tear my heart apart and let it die
than feel this pain inside
cause everythinG i’m living for is killing me
as he takes another step towards his life
i know i’ll never be his bride
but we would have been, we could have been
we sHould have been, oh ...
please dear god now hear my prayer
cause i can’t take this anymore
i beg you, I love him, there ain’t no way out
i need hIm to live, i cannot without
cause i die everytime
he looks away, my heart just breaks
and i try to sTay alive
but he is the healing and the pain
dear god, why, why?
dear god, why, why him?
cause i cannot breathe, it’s killing me
it should’ve been me
we should hAve been
he gotta be mine, tell me he will be mine
cause i’m dying, i’m dying
dear god, why, why him? why?
why, why?
i won’t be Leaving here alive
i won’t be leaving here alive
i won’t be leaving here aLive
i won’t be leaving here alive ...
credits
from Back To Iris,
released December 29, 2014
Written and performed by Iris
Hi! I'm Iris. I'm 20, and I'm a songwriter. My guitar is my best friend, and Music is my whole life. My lucky number is 11.
My motto is 'If you just believe'. I believe in fairytales, in dreams, in miracles, in wishes, in Music, and I do believe in Love. I'm just one of the many. I'm fearless. And I'm a dreamer. This is everything you need to know about me.
So nice to meet you! =)...more
New York duo showcase an enigmatic blend of math rock guitars, pop-punk sing-a-longs, emo confessionals, and even rave-ready synths. Bandcamp New & Notable Nov 15, 2023
Yorkshire songwriter and guitarist Kindelan explores life's in-between moments on a debut EP of soulful and sweet jazz. Bandcamp New & Notable Jun 1, 2023
Johanna Samuels writes introspective and empathetic songs that explore authenticity with lovely, low-key pop melodies. Bandcamp New & Notable May 20, 2021